Skinny Bitch: Bun in the Oven by: Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin

Ed Note: So THAT’S where I’ve been. You know you wondered. I’ve been reading up a storm, so reviews will start trickling in. Also, I’m breaking my own rules. But I’m knocked up so I get to.

This book. THIS book. It starts off well enough - hey, you’re pregnant, we’re going to tell you straight. They have a “bitchclaimer” in which they tell you that if you’re looking for friends you should go to lamaze. They didn’t write the book to make friends, they wrote it so that women everywhere can have a healthier pregnancy. Awesome. I’m all for the lack of sugar-coating. So I dove in.

I knew, from interviews read well before I picked up the book, that the authors are vegan. Were vegan through their entire pregnancies and remain vegan. I anticipated basic guidelines that I hear all the time (cut back caffeine, stay away from over-processed foods, etc etc) and it started off pretty much like that. Of course, since they’re not making friends, it was more in the vein of “caffeine causes ADD and Diabetes...so don’t risk it..Happy Birthday! I got you Diabetes! Love, Mommy.” [misquoted, but you get the gist] A little alarmist, but everyone has their thing.

And then...they moved into animal products. At which point I started SKIPPING. That’s right: Skipping. And I’ll tell you why. I was 6 weeks pregnant when I started that book and there was a lot of morning sickness. And milk was already turning me off. [I think at that point I was a cheerios, green grapes, and grilled cheese girl.] So to hear them talk about how bad non-organic milk is was bad enough but then they got graphic and I got nauseous. So I skipped. And then they got to the meat part.

More Graphic Than Fast Food Nation. [Which was awesome, btw.]

So here I was, 6, 7, 8 weeks pregnant [I kept trying] and having raging hormones - causing everything from actual illness to crying jags. And I’m reading things that [yes, I already knew] just inflamed those things.

In other words, they went from Not Making Friends to Losing Friends and Alienating People.

I put it down. It sits, collecting dust, on my coffee table. The much more helpful [but not likely to be full-on reviewed for the sake of not boring people to death] Your Pregnancy Week-by-week and The Complete Organic Pregnancy move around the house with me.

So there you go. I’m coming right out for the sake of all the other hormonal women out there: There are better, less upsetting, books to read in order to figure out how to eat healthy so you can have the best possible pregnancy.
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