Bossypants by Tina Fey

So, basically, Tina Fey sat down and wrote a book about her life. Hilarity ensues. (Full disclosure: I listened to the audiobook. I have found that the best vehicles for memoirs are the authors reading their own words. I feel like I get more from it.)

I labeled this as "edutainment" because it is full of life lessons, and if I were starting out in the world I would turn to it as inspiration for not letting presumptions about my gender keep me from succeeding. After all, if not for her persistence, SNL would NEVER have aired the hilarious Kotex Classic commercial.

She covers everything from her scar (questions about which say more about that asker than they do about her) to what it's like to say, in front of your father whom you admire so much, that your wonky little show has been picked up for a full season. Her prayer for her daughter is poignant and hilarious and true, and the images she includes for our viewing pleasure are honest and relatable.

This is one of those books that I'm telling all the ladies in my life to read, and if I had the funds, I would just buy everyone copies. (If you're a person who spends a lot of time in your car, get the audio. Trust me. But beware: at time I was laughing so hard I cried. That could be problematic.)

Enjoy!

The Kitchen Counter Cooking School by Kathleen Flinn

I started this book on Friday. I finished it today. (Granted, I had one of those lay on the couch and read days, but still. 4 days. It feels like record time for me, lately.)

Firstly, let's take a moment and remember how much I loved Flinn's first book, The Sharper Your Knife, The Less You Cry. Remember? Good.

This book opens with this quote:

"You teach best what you most need to learn." - Richard Bach.

That's the prologue, and then part one opens with:

"For most people, the only real stumbling block is fear of failure. In cooking you've got to have a what-the-hell attitude." - Julia Child

So there you go. This is Kathleen (I feel after two memoirs, I can call her by her first name) giving 9 volunteers permission to have a what-the-hell attitude in the kitchen.  You read that right: volunteers. She asked people to let her teach them basic cooking skills. Things that I feel like I know, but would still pay someone to help me hone. And Kathleen is a Cordon Bleu trained chef. Teaching these women for free. If I hadn't learned so much reading the book, I'd be much more jealous. As it is, let's just say my list of Seattle Food Writers To Stalk keeps growing and growing and growing.

She starts off with something that almost everyone lacks: knife skills. Then she moves on to some taste testing (iodized salt DOES taste like chemicals!) and approaching a whole chicken, beef (not the whole cow), soups, stocks, what to do with leftovers, and tips for planning your menu so you can shop more efficiently.

Kathleen has tirelessly researched the details she uses to motivate her volunteers and readers: Americans waste 30% of the food they bring into their homes, for example. She packs in recipes, more recipes, a hearty bibliography, and recommended reading - all of which I am grateful for (and you will be, too.)

Her volunteers all have the same thing in common: they are so removed from the process of cooing and nourishing themselves that they admit to being scared to cook. Scared of the knives, scared of chicken, scared of fish, scared of failing. They represent a lot of people out there, I think. Although they are all women, they range in age and income from early twenties to mid-sixties, from food stamps to an almost $1000 a month budget.

To help with these classes, she brings in experts: fellow chefs, nutritionists, a former-chef, a Top Chef cheftestant - they add much needed color and I found myself learning things I'd never even knew I didn't know. I also will be bringing home any bones from restaurant meals. Particularly steak bones. Hello, beef stock!

So, like I said, I know my way around a kitchen, but this book wasn't written for me, necessarily. It was written for people who have a go-to meal and then a stack of take-out menus or frozen dinners. It's a wake-up call to take back our kitchens and our mealtimes...if only to regain control of our sodium intake.

I tagged this inspirational because, well, it is, but also because I have been inspired: 2012 is the year I conquer yeast. That's what I'm scared of. Yeast. We have a fair-weather relationship and really, I just want to make it my bitch. You hear that, yeast? I'm coming for you!



Kathleen Flinn's youtube channel can be found here. It's got some helpful video tutorials in it, well worth watching. Enjoy!

Heat by Bill Buford

So I tagged this "reader recommendation" even though not a soul actually told me to read it. I found it listed on my Sister-In-Law's Amazon wish list and thought to myself "hey - that goes perfectly with my food memoir streak! AND it's Italian food, which I haven't read, yet. Excellent!" So then I checked it out from the library, thinking if it is good then I'll pluck it off her list and send it to her for Christmas.

Well, it is that good. (It's no longer on her list, though, and not due to me!)

In fact, I have only two complaints about this book: firstly, there are no recipes. NO RECIPES, BILL! Way to hold out. There are descriptions of techniques, and a little insight into why restaurant food never tastes as good as it does in your home kitchen (batch size and measurement techniques, for starters) and that's all well and good...but throw us a bone, man! On the other hand, I must now go to Italy, find a grandmother, and convince her to teach me how to make pasta. So it's not all for nothing.

The second one - he referenced so many texts, and listed some of them in the acknowledgements, but I'm going to have to give this a re-read to truly retain all of the information. Which might have been his plan, because re-reading is really the best excuse ever for buying a book. So now I'll buy one for myself, and that means I'm more likely to buy it as gifts...I'm on to you, Buford.

So basically - he starts off as a journalist who decides he wants to learn how to cook - a lost art, in his opinion (mine, too.) He calls up his good friend Mario Batali (how has HE been off my radar?) and becomes a slave in the Babbo kitchen.  Amongst these adventures, he gives us Batali's backstory, and then follows his footsteps to Italy. In two distinct small towns he learns the lost art of pasta making (no machine!) from a Grandmother and butchery from The Maestro. No kidding, that's what he calls his mentor. Divine.

So if you're into food, Italian food, culture, food history, or just a good read - this Buford's for you. If you're a vegetarian (&etc) be warned: beef cheeks are just the tip of the iceberg. He does reflect a little on eating animals, mentioning that Vegetarians are the most aware that the bacon on your plate was once a pig in someone's pen, and he speaks of all of them with the utmost respect. So it's not gross...but I'm a carnivore.

I could go on and on filling your head with spoilers but I won't do that to you. You should read it. Because it is very good.

The Black Book of Colors by Menena Cottin and Rosana Farria, trans. by Elisa Amado

So this isn't usually a genre I cover, but this book is stunning. I had to.

It's a picture book unlike any I've come across, and here's why:

At first, it's just a black book with fairly abstract descriptions of color...

But then the glare hits, or you run your fingers across the page and there the words are: in braille.

And the image descriptions, in glossy relief on the paper - even I was moved by them. 

The last page is the braille alphabet. 

That literature like this exists for young readers makes me smile. 

I could go on and on about how great it is, but really - you should just experience it for yourself. 

Even Baz is rapt when we read this one.

A Homemade Life by Molly Wizenberg

I have decided that food writers might be my favorite people. It's one of the few area where you don't just stumble into it and you're "meh" about food but you write anyway...if that were the case you'd be out of a job faster than it takes your last review to become bird cage liner...or whatever the blog equivalent is.

And yes, Molly Wizenberg has a blog. That's how I found her*. She's Orangette. And she came to have the blog because she Loves food. Capital L, Loves. And it shines through. Every essay is a rosy memory of her life, scented with the aromas of whichever kitchen was nearby. Luckily - those land in our laps as recipes because Molly (you don't mind that I call you Molly, do you?) is emphatically Anti-Secret-Recipe. All the better for us, eh?

I've tagged this as cozy because it is. She has reduced her life to its essence: soul searching via her taste buds. There are moments of tenderness, sadness (her father's illness and passing are related in a frank way that tugged at my heart,) and celebration, and giddiness.  There are no great revelations (except for french toast in oil - GENIUS) and there's no great moral to smack you in the face and although you'll spend a lot of time hungry while you read this book, you won't have gained five pounds by the end of it. Or maybe you will have - it all comes down to quantity, doesn't it?

I ordered this book through my local bookshop before I'd even finished the copy borrowed from the library - and we've made one recipe (french toast in oil. Did I mention it's genius?) and I've earmarked another...chocolate cake on Easter? They procured me the paperback - and a pleasant surprise is that it has discussion in the back, complete with a little Q&A with Molly herself. I heartily endorse this as a book club book, as long as someone brings cake.

A note to the vegetarians in the crowd: Molly's husband, Brandon, is a vegetarian, so there are quite a few meatless recipes. But Molly isn't, so there is also meat to be had...mostly fish. Nothing to worry about if you're squeamish.

Dig in!


*Full disclosure: when the book first came out it took long enough to make it to my stack that I was in the throws of the Worst Morning Sickness Ever and not only had I hidden all of my food blogs, but I just couldn't read it. So back to the library it went and I forgot about it until Amster-Burton name checked Molly in Hungry Monkey. Thank you, Amster-Burton. All of the stomachs in our house are grateful.

Hungry Monkey by Matthew Amster-Burton

I bought this for my husband last year with the knowledge that when he finished it, I would read it. I just finished it. Literally, I just read through the last section of "recommended reading, our favorite convenience foods, and acknowledgments." The book is filled with flags of further reading or items to investigate and I have already made one of the recipes (bibimbap.)

Amster-Burton is a food writer and father living in Seattle with his wife, Laurie, and daughter, Iris.  Here is something annoying: Iris at the time of writing was 4. Iris at the onset of fun food was about 20 months. Which is six months from where we are and I find myself impatient. But I digress.

This book is engaging. It is funny. It is inspirational and appetizing....that is, I would have a nice, full dinner and a little while later I would read a chapter or two in the bath and when I emerged I would be starving and inspired to really cook. Hence the bibimbap, which was delicious.

Amster starts with the precept that there is no baby food. There is only people food, presented in such a way that babies can eat it. And he went from there. He also invited Iris into the kitchen - one of the most intriguing slices of their life is the way Iris participates (or opts out because she's "busy lying on the couch.")  Through tales of farmers markets, fishmongers, preschool snack days, and pasta sauce, Amster invites you in to his kitchen - there is no doubt in my mind that given the chance the invitation would be real and the casual comraderie would not falter. Or I'm just a crazy fan who reads too much into things. Either way, I really want a sequel.



He has a blog, and this entry has video footage with Iris, so you can see just how cute she really is:

http://www.rootsandgrubs.com/2009/05/19/on-tv/

Happy Reading!

PS - they are NOT vegetarians, so if you take issue with things like "it starts with flank steak" or "We bought a live lobster" then be warned those parts are in there. But don't skip the book. There are muffins and udon, too!

Momma Zen By Karen Maezen Miller

I thoroughly enjoyed Miller's other book, so I made sure I was able to savor this one, in which she takes us along on her journey as a new mother, musing over lullabies and sleepless nights, food struggles, television guilt, schedules, and the sudden illness and passing of her own mother. I do not personally know Karen (although we are "facebook friends") but as I read her reflection on the loss of her mother, I mourned with her.

Miller is moving and inspirational without being the kind of person who gives Moving Inspirational Speeches. She quietly shows you how things work for her and provides space for you to recognize what is (and isn't) working for you. Here is a space to allow yourself to truly feel what you are feeling and then the gentle guidance needed to let all of that go.

A random pull quote:

"On a perfect day in your perfect little world (and it's always perfect) there is breakfast time, playtime, lunchtime, nap time, snack time, dinnertime, bath time, story time, and bedtime. There is time for everything when you are the timekeeper." (p68)

It is not just her own wisdom that she shares, every chapter opens with a quote from Sutras, Blessings, Buddhist Lessons, and the Wise Ones who came before. The book ends with a lesson on How to Meditate, and follows with an index "For the Hard Days", in which you can look up lessons for the help you most need right now.

Miller is a Zen Buddhist Priest, and while that informs her writings and her lessons, she neither shoves it down your throat nor urges you to throw off your previous labels and Join Her. She merely invites you in to a place where the people are just people, lives are just lived, and every moment exists in your breath. I consider myself lucky to have both of her books on my shelf.

(Bonus: she has a blog.)

She Looks Just Like You: A Memoir of (nonbiological lesbian) Motherhood by Amie Klempnauer Miller

I firmly believe that anyone who thinks they should have a say - or that there should be legislation defining - what makes a family needs to read this book. Because Miller is honest and moving and most definitely a mother. And I say this as a straight, monogamous mother.

I have to admit, though, that I grabbed it off the library end cap on a whim. I'm on a Mommy-Memoir kick (in case you haven't noticed) and so it appealed to me. I hesitated, though when I saw that Amie is a lesbian. Not because I was turned off by the concept, but because I wasn't sure if I could relate. But I did. I can. I think that any human who has tried, succeeded, considered, is considering,  and/or may one day bring another human into their life will relate.

In fact - my only issue with the whole thing was the few times when she said "because I am a lesbian, I am ________." And I thought "no, honey, because you are a woman/human/parent you are...."  Not that lesbians aren't, but they haven't cornered the market.

I was moved to tears so many times. I'll admit it. There might have been wine involved, but there were definitely tears. Tears when the pregnancy took. Tears when their daughter was born. Tears and tears and more tears. She overcame huge hurdles - and she shares them with such honesty and fearlessness that it's no wonder she is in her third decade with her wife.

There is no way to avoid the politics of the situation while reading. I fall firmly in favor of not needing the legislation that is constantly in trouble or about to be voted on. Why? Because the LGBT community is covered by the 14th amendment.

In a totally cute (and enlightening) offshoot: the author interviews her daughter. Read it here.

Poser: My Life in Twenty-Three Yoga Poses by Claire Dederer

The title for this one says it all, really. With flashbacks to her childhood, and a present-time recounting that spans her first ten years of motherhood and yoga study, Dederer takes us through her own rite of passage. Can it be a rite of passage when it's a memoir written by an adult about her adult life? I'm going to say yes. I'm also going to call it a coming-of-age piece and a truly fun read.

The tagline on her website reads: "What if you turned your life upside down...and wound up with both feet on the ground?"

I identify with Dederer on several levels and I'm convinced that is what made this book so enjoyable for me.  But rather than go on and on about me, I thought I was going to do something even better: answer one of the "reading group" questions from the website. But all of those made me want to talk about me.


So I will just say this: read this book. If you like yoga. If you like memoirs. If you like funny, self-depricating stories where the heroine and her family nearly implode only to jump their proverbial shark and put themselves back on the right track. Read it if you like heart warming, cozy, inspiring tales of a person whose childhood was left-of-center but who grew up to be alright anyway. And certainly read it if you just aren't sure what to read next. Let it inspire you to be brave.

Hand Wash Cold by Karen Maezen Miller

This delightful little tome was hidden in the "Self Help" section of Borders...which is a bit like sticking Heathers in the Suspense section of Blockbuster (it's a comedy, people.) While the subtitle does lend itself to being a "how-to-DIY-your life into amazingness," the real inspiration lies in Miller's recollections and reflections and for that I call it a memoir.

While Miller is a mother, this is not (necessarily) a book for mothers. Or for fathers, for that matter. It's a book for people who would like to know how to slow down a little and enjoy their life as it comes to them...people who want to take care of themselves in a way that you just don't find at a gym or (ironically) in the self-help section.

Miller, a Zen Buddhist Priest and teacher (Sensei), is spiritual without being preachy. Her faith might not be your faith and that's alright because the answer doesn't necessarily lie in faith. It lies in the willingness to slow down and take your life as it comes.

There's a quote on the back by Katrina Kenison that sums it up nicely:

"Ever found yourself up to your elbows in the messy stuff of your own everyday life and wondered, "Is this all there is?" Karen Maezen Miller answers that age-old question with a resounding "Yes." Read this deceptively simple, deeply wise little book not to change your life, but to fall quietly, unequivocally back in love with the life you already have."

I feel that I will read this one again and again and every time I will glean new insights into why and how my life is perfect just as it is. You should, too. And bonus: she has a blog.


PS - a little confession, as I read I keep flashing to Dorothy at the end of The Wizard of Oz:  "...if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with! Is that right?"

Enlightenment For Idiots by Anne Cushman

This one would have been a perfect beach read. If you live in a part of the world where the weather is behaving in a seasonally appropriate manner, then this is a nice book to read whilst curled on the couch in front of a fire with a steaming mug of (chai) tea...and a cat on your feet. Cats are the ultimate feet-warmers.

Enlightenment for Idiots is Cushman's debut novel. She is a regular contributor to Yoga Journal so I was already vaguely familiar with her voice and not at all surprised at the hobby and career path of the heroine. Amanda is working on her yoga teaching credentials while writing a series of "... for Idiots" books. While in the past they have been travel-oriented, eg: Napa For Idiots, her editor Maxine has a fabulous idea: send Amanda to India to become enlightened.

I have to admit that there is a bit of a cliche trap: Amanda is in the off-again cycle of a tempestuous relationship with a man she can't help loving. Her bills are piling up and she's staring at 30. She has mad-cap roommates, a best friend who is fully together, and a mother who has failed her. If the book had been more food oriented it would have been white noise and gotten lost in the crowd. Also, the fact that Amanda is so consciously desperate for enlightenment saves us all from having to pretend that she's just there to take in the sights and eat some yummy food.

There's a bit of food, but only as it relates to yogi chores at ashrams and the fact that people have to eat to live and she's in India where eating can be an adventure. More interestingly are the people she meets on the way: A sadhu who refers to himself in the 1st person plural is my favorite and I am satisfied with the way their relationship worked out. Various gurus and fellow enlightenment-seekers pepper Amanda's journey and provide a yardstick against which Amanda (and the readers) measures her life.

All of the advice given to Amanda is sound, and can be removed from its context and applied to your own life - a nice bonus for a Dessert Novel. You may (or may not) be enlightened when you close the book, but if you don't pause and reflect as you read asana* descriptions and quotations from the great Wise Men then you're not really paying attention.

While in danger of being trite at times, Enlightenment for Idiots avoids being a cliche, and lands firmly in enjoyable, heartwarming, and inspiring. If nothing else, it has rekindled my desire to visit India. Enjoy!


*asana = yoga postures.

The Sharper Your Knife, The Less You Cry by Kathleen Flinn

You know a book is going to be good when it opens with this quote:

"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all." 

- Harriet Van Horne

I'm pretty sure I gained at least 5 pounds just reading this book. If not, then over the next two weeks while I try out the recipes that follow most of the chapters I certainly will. I will enjoy every second from shopping to plating, though, because unlike Flinn... I am not being graded.

At 36, after finding herself having been made redundant while on vacation (so harsh,) Flinn takes her severance, her savings, and her boyfriend (who is an enabler, encouraging Flinn to follow her dream) and goes to Paris ti study at Le Cordon Bleu. We follow along with her as she explores Paris, entertains house guests, and drops food on the floor. We meet the other students and chefs (whose names have been changed) and Flinn manages to give us a peek into the classes while not revealing anything that the school would rather people enroll to learn. Even the recipes are Flinn's personal contributions or adaptations.

I devoured (haha) this book on a plane ride, and now I need to go to Paris and Culinary school. Flinn paints both with a brush so attractive that even the sketchy parts, the long hours, and the angry chefs come across as character building and endearing. In fact, the only thing that bothered me at all about her journey was that it wasn't longer. I wanted just a little bit more...but even as I say that I'm not sure where I wanted it to come from. The story is complete and just thorough enough. Perhaps what it I'm wanting is to read the next chapter - how much longer did they stay in Paris? What did she do with her newfound skills (aside from the book, obviously.) What is Mike doing? Her sister? What ever happened to the awful houseguests? Her classmates?  I want a sequel. And a movie. Thankfully, when you ask...the internet delivers.

Go, read, cook, eat.

101 Things I Learned in Architecture School by Matthew Frederick

(Frederick's website)

This book is awesome. It's one of those pick-up, put down books - but I read it cover-to-cover. It ostensibly for Architecture students and hobbyists, but I read it with a broader view of "Architecture" so that in my head it applied to any project - from setting up my son's soon-to-be-toddler room to finally getting to the re-writes on my novel.

Examples of how to do this (chosen by randomly opening the book and looking at a page):

page 48: "If you can't explain your ideas to your grandmother in terms she understands, you don't know your subject well enough."  Apply to query letter and any synopsis ever required.

page 8: "Architecture is the thoughtful making of space." - Louis Kahn. Ever stared at a blank page? A blank room? A blank website? You're "making space" and hopefully - doing so thoughtfully.

page 82: "True architectural style does not come from a conscious effort to create a particular look. It results obliquely - even accidentally - out of a holistic process." AMEN.


rinse, repeat. If you create anything from scratch - science projects, skirts, business plans, buildings, characters - this needs to reside on your shelf.

The only thing I'm left wondering is why I took so long to read it.

Bonus: there's whole series.

The Gift of an Ordinary Day by Katrina Kenison

(my own image)

I am lucky to have found this book while my son is still so young. Kenison is at the other side of parenthood: one son entering high school as the other prepares to leave it. She throws another wrench into the works by determining that *now* is the perfect time to move from the only home their sons have ever known.

We follow the entire family on their journey from cozy home in a familiar and friendly neighborhood through a period of unrest; the old home sold before they had a new one picked out and Jack (the younger son) rebels in a way that only 13 year old boys can.  There are flashbacks, anecdotes, revelations and insights. I found myself pulling quotes to keep in the back of my head, most timely:

"The thoughtful life is not rushed."

Before long, Henry, the oldest, starts looking at colleges. Kenison starts taking a long hard look at what nurturing means when your children no longer need nurturing.

Ultimately, the family lands in a small town in the mountains, in possession of a house they're not entirely sure what to do with and surrounded by strangers. Well, they are strangers until a shop keeper becomes a friend and points out that there are partners all around, waiting to help...and by the close of this particular chapter in the Kenison's lives there are new friends and partners filling it. 

This book does not drip with sentiment, or preach about how your life should be lived. This is a woman sharing her journey towards balance. I do not think that you need to be a parent yourself to read it. I think anyone who has...well, lived, can relate to the events and emotions. And everyone can relate to how charming life because when even ordinary days are viewed as gifts.

Momfulness by Denise Roy

 

I have already ordered three more copies of this book, because as I read different passages, I was reminded of different people and rather than just saying “go and get this book” I thought I would ensure readership by actually handing it to them and therefore removing that necessary step of getting it themselves.

    That’s how good it is.

    Roy starts out with a simple definition of the title (a word she coined): “Momfulness is the spiritual practice of cultivating a mindful, compassionate, mothering presence.”

    As I noted in the open letter to the author - this spoke to me in a moment when I felt this was exactly what I was looking for. Obviously I feel that other mothers will benefit from her wisdom - but I also feel that ANY caregiver could learn and be reassured by the meditations and reflections put forward by Roy.

    She starts with meditations to help bring your into your present life and actually be present. Recognize the happiness of simple moments and stop taking them for granted. She moves us to gently reminders to be attentive, compassionate, to embody grace by embracing (literally) the bodies in our lives, and to find the sacred that so often hides in plain sight. Finally, we are reminded to include the community in our lives and as part of our family.

    All of the meditations and reflections naturally follow memories, anecdotes, and confessions - because again Roy allows us to be flawed humans who are forgetful, short tempered, remorseful, and hopeful.

    I have a feeling my little copy will be dog eared and well-worn before my child’s first birthday...unless I keep giving it away and replacing it.

    I think an entire collection of “-fulness” books is warranted: “Dadfulness,” “Childfulness,” “Teacherfulness”… none of her teachings would be lost on these groups. But then, I hardly feel that grace and compassion  would be lost on anyone. 

PS: I've already implemented some of her suggestions. This one is my favorite so far.

My Monastery is a Minivan by Denise Roy

***I published this on my other blog - it's only vaguely a review, but I was moved in this manner by this book, which is more honest than me just saying: "it's great. Read it." ****

Dear Denise,

    Can I call you Denise? We’re both adults, and after reading My Monastery is a Minivan, I feel like we’re friends.

    My son is 3 months old. 15 weeks. It’s such a short amount of time - not a full season for any sport, not a full semester, only a 3rd of the amount of time it took me to make him. And yet in that time I realized several very disturbing things. First, I am psychotic. I’ve worked with a lot of young children over the course of the past 20 (egads!) years and the one thing that every mom has ever told me is: “it’s different when they’re yours. You’re more patient.” They. LIE. After twenty years of what I considered to be “helping to raise” children I thought I had the baby thing IN THE BAG. It took ten days to knock me off that horse. Second, I am not nearly as calm and composed as I’d like. I know there are hormones, but the tears, the frustration...it’s like puberty all over again only this time it’s being triggered by an infant. These two things left me feeling very out of my depth.

    So I started to look for some guidance. If you want to lead a more calm and balanced life there is a guide for that - many, actually. I started with mommy blogs (perfect window dressing but few willing to actually post that their child had them up all night for God-knows-why and what they really want is a martini) and moved on to montessori review (I’ve studied this as education and child care training, but not as a mother) and it’s still just as dry a read as it was when I was eighteen...I watched a documentary on the Dalai Lama (I follow him on facebook as well) and that was helpful and inspirational...but he’s not a mom. He doesn’t get it.

    And then, I’m in our local children’s bookstore just browsing and I see your book. On the shelf directly below “Once Upon a Potty” is the exact word I didn’t know was missing from my life: Momfulness. I picked it up and allowed it to fall open in my hands. This is something I often do with books - allowing the universe to guide me to recipes, essays, inspiration - and it opened to the Thich Nhat Hanh prayer*. Needless to say, I purchased it.

    But I read My Monastery is a Minivan first. I’m just starting on Momfulness, and I so far I’m glad I’m reading them in this order. I needed to know more about you as a mother before I started to learn from you. Although, really, I don’t think one needs to be a mother to enjoy your stories. One just has to have a mother. One just has to have a family.  On 35 separate occasions I was moved to tears, laughter, and deep contentment. I am inspired to be more present, to recognize that we are happy, to have more patience with myself and my son. Just hearing your experiences helps me find peace with mine.

    I do want to particularly address the story entitled “The Mother of Men.” For reasons too lengthy to go into here, I was (and am still, to a lesser extent) very apprehensive about raising a son. Everywhere else I looked were platitudes but you got to the heart of it: what men need is a rite of passage wherein the older men say “you are important and what you say is important.” I finished the book and immediately re-read that essay. In 13 years my husband (and our close male friends and relatives) will take our son into the Redwoods for a weekend and they will welcome him to manhood.

    Your 35 stories (and now your second book - so far, at least) has given me hope and reassurance that even though I’m not perfect, I don’t need to be. That as long as I practice compassion and mindfulness and respect - not just for my family but for myself as well, which is often harder - that it will all be ok.

    So really, I just wanted to say thank you.

*
Breathing in, I calm my body
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment,
I know this is a wonderful moment.