The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

***I'm playing catch-up in a major way these days, so these reviews will be shorter than normal. Don't hold it against me. I am still only reviewing books I enjoyed - so the length of the review does not reflect my enjoyment level, just my memory and abhorrence for spoilers.)***

So I already knew I was going to like this, based purely on it being by the same man who brought us Coraline. Here's the premise: the book opens with the murder of the family of Nobody Owens, who manages to escape his crib and house and toddle up the street to the cemetery. Once inside the gates, the occupants of the cemetery (Ghosts and a corporeal guardian) decide to adopt and raise him. This is literally the coming-of-age story of a boy raised by ghosts. It's fascinating. There is sadness and suspense and a thrilling climax, but the overwhelming story is of this boys maturation. It's dark and witty and wise with the perfect amount of creepiness thrown in. A good October Book, I think.

From the NYT book review:

"The Graveyard Book, by turns exciting and witty, sinister and tender, shows Gaiman at the top of his form. In this novel of wonder, Neil Gaiman follows in the footsteps of long-ago storytellers, weaving a tale of unforgettable enchantment."

I agree with that last part. It's been months since I read it and I still find myself musing over bits of it. Well worth the read, I feel.

Enjoy!

Queen of the Dead by Stacy Kade

***I'm playing catch-up in a major way these days, so these reviews will be shorter than normal. Don't hold it against me. I am still only reviewing books I enjoyed - so the length of the review does not reflect my enjoyment level, just my memory and abhorrence for spoilers.)

This is book two in the Ghost and The Goth series and I loved it. These two have great (if reluctant) chemistry and there is plenty of it in this book. Without giving away too much, let's just say that another girl is thrown into the mix and she holds information into Will's past and abilities. There is much peril, suspense, some hauntings, some exorcisms, and some good old-fashioned banter. The third book is out May 1st, if you're a fan of Alona and Will (or you're looking for some good beach reading) pick up this one and then that one (but start with The Ghost and the Goth if you're new to the series.)

Wildwood by Colin Melor and Carson Ellis

Full Disclosure - I knew I was going to read this book the minute I heard it was coming out. Purely because it was written by the man who brought us this:

Meloy is a smart man. Evidenced here, when he appeared on Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me.

So, given that, let's talk about the book. It's sheer genius. 

A basic overview: 12 year old Prue is in the park with her 1yr old brother when he is stolen by a murder of crows and taken into the Impassable Wilderness. A school mate named Curtis follows her into the woods to help her save Mac and hijinks ensue. Because of course the Impassable Wildnerness is a magic wood - based on Forest Park in Oregon - that is actually called Wildwood and is inhabited by people and animals...all of whom speak and farm and have lives.

It's got a big flavor of Narnia, but with weaponry and a body count.

Let's talk about the illustrations for a moment - they are delicious. They add to the flavor and aid in the visualization of this vast new world he's created. (I do wonder what they do to the feedback loop, though....)

It was one of those books where I kept thinking "well, I'm just going to have to push through and finish this tonight...the sweet agony of waiting to find out what happens is KILLING ME!" and then I would realize there were well over a hundred pages left and I would sigh and put it off. But mark my words - if I didn't have a toddler to take care of, I wouldn't have put this book down. 

So you should give them a listen (if you're not already a fan) and give his appearance on Wait, Wait a listen...and then block out a chunk of time, get cozy, and read this book.

Trust me.

(ps - it's called Book One of the Wildwood Chronicles. More to come...?! Be still my heart!)

Dark Goddess by Sarwat Chadda

This was amazing. You absolutely have to read the first one first - it's referred to often in this book, part of Billi's personal growth depends on events in the first book. It's nicely done, but you may find yourself thinking "what the heck...?" if you haven't read Devil's Kiss.

Consider yourself warned.

I love this series (so glad it's a series!) Chadda makes Joss Whedon look like he's telling campfire stories to ten year olds, if that makes sense. Don't get me wrong - I drink the Joss Whedon Kool-Aide and watch anything that bears his name. But his darkest moments are nothing compared to what Sarwat Chadda throws at Billi.

To wit: Billi is the only female member of the (still active, if lacking in funds and numbers) Knights Templar. To add a twist that keeps things interesting - in Chadda's version, after the Pope turned his back on the Templars, they turned to fighting the beasts of hell: vampires, werewolves, ghosts, fallen angels, etc. Chadda's done his research - a tiny bit of googling adds credence to his plot lines and characters.

And then his methods of destruction are just this side of "never gonna happen" to keep me up at night.

So it's a great read for this time of year, but reading at Halloween might be a little cliche'd.

I fully recognize that this genre isn't for everything, but if it teenage girls fighting the supernatural is your cup of tea, you'd be remiss not to give these a shot. Trust me.



Book trailer for the first book:

Artemis Fowl: the Atlantis Complex by Eoin Colfer

I love these books. I love that they're written for teenage boys. I love that he took the idea of fairies living "in the hills" literally and I love that he made them so technologically advanced that Steve Jobs would be speechless were he to encounter them.

I love that Artemis is basically a sociopath. I love that he's a genius. I love that Butler has tunnel vision and questionable morals. I love that Holly is the toughest member of the bunch and that the tech genius (Q, if you will) is a centaur with a potty mouth.

I love that the world is always in peril and that it's mostly Artemis's doing. Love. Love. Love. Love this series.

This is the first that I've listened to, and I very much enjoyed it. Hearing it with the accents really does make all the difference.

Now, if they'd just make these into movies already!

UPDATE::: hello, movie! http://www.artemis-fowl.com/movie_1.php

The Ghost and the Goth by Stacey Kade

I picked this up on the advice of Stories and Sweeties: she gave it 4 and a half out of 5 cupcakes.

I'd agree with that. It's your basic "teen queen gets hit by a bus and starts haunting the only dude at school who can hear her and antics ensue" tale. I ate it up. I expected it to be vapid and the writing to suck, but neither of those were true and I happily passed it along to some teenage girls I know - they'll relate to the fact that what you see from the outside is never the full story of someone's life. A lesson even adults could use reminding of now and then.

It's ultimately going to be a trilogy and the second is out already. Part of me wishes I'd waited until book 3 is out so I can read them all in succession, but this way will work, too.

Enjoy!

The Kitchen Daughter by Jael McHenry

This book is fantastic. I skimmed the review here - sorry! I skimmed it, I know! But I don't like too many spoilers and really all I needed to see was that it's VERY GOOD and I was good to go. Also, there's food in it, so you know I was sold.


Let me tell you what you find out in the front cover/first couple of pages:

1) Ginny (the narrator) is one of two adult daughters who has just been orphaned.
2) She lives in her parents house - she is socially awkward and overly literal and needs to be taken care of...sort of. She's also an amazing cook who manages herself by imagining the way onions caramelize.
3) It made me want to caramelize onions.
4) Her sister is controlling.
5) During the funeral, an unexpected guest arrives...followed by more guests throughout the book. That's all I'm saying, but notice that I tagged this "supernatural" and "speculative" and go from there.

What you won't discover until you read it for yourself is the lyrical prose, the complete openness and honesty of the narrator, the desire to make sure that everything turns out alright, the compelling descriptions (and recipes!), and the fully-formed cast of characters that make up Ginny's life.

I couldn't put it down. I told Steve all about it. I want to know what happens next.

You should read it. Seriously. Go right now, it's at the library...or your local bookshop. Read it.

I keep picking up the latest in series that I love only to be met with the "Writing off" of characters I love. In this case: the Pym sisters. That's right - I spoiled this one right off the bat. But it happens in the first chapter and their impending departure is the catalyst for Lori's trip to New Zealand: their deathbed request of her is that she deliver a letter to their estranged nephew - son of their only brother who was cast out of the family when the twins were small children.

Lori, being married to an Estate lawyer, packs her bags and takes a very long plane ride. The story is set during the filming of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, which features minorly into the plot. Additionally, she has a native guide and meets many more interesting characters (a refreshing change from the familiar faces of Finch, although they have their appearances as well.) It turns out that Aubrey, Jr, (nephew) has passed away. As has his son, leaving Lori to track down an eighteen-year-old great-grandniece as she runs away from her troubles across the island.

I'll tell you that I read this with enthusiasm: will Lori catch up with Bree? Why is her native guide so eager to help her? When can I book my own trip to New Zealand?

All in all, it was a satisfying read...and no, you do not have to have read the previous installments to enjoy this one. But it certainly adds a layer of heart-string tugging when you've encountered the Pyms sisters 14 previous times and now they have passed away to the realm of Aunt Dimity herself.

Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips

 

 This is a beach read if I’ve ever encountered one. It’s also good for reading in the bath and while nursing, if it happens to be winter still and you’re not on the beach.

Here’s the basic premise: despite all of the other religions that have come and gone, the real one is that of the Ancient Greeks and a handful of their gods have been displaced from Olympus to a grimy old house in London, where they spend their days being bored, bickering, meddling in each other’s lives, and trying to keep the planet going. The problem is, they can’t have every Tom, Dick, and Mortal knowing about them so they’re relegated to crap jobs like walking dogs (Artemis) and hosting x-rated phone calls (Aphrodite.) They also have lots of sex. Consider yourself warned.

Of course, that would get boring quickly, so Phillips has thrown into some mortals to move the plot along. Alice and Neil find themselves inexplicably intertwined with a love-stuck Apollo (I told you the gods were bored and meddling with each other) and his entire family.

Like I said -this is a beach read so there aren’t any great epiphanies, although Phillips appears to have done her homework and what little there is to fact check is accurate. It’s a fun little romp through what might have been had the Greeks gotten it all right. (And really - who’s to say they didn’t?) I did get little kicks here and there from the lows the gods went to over each other, but Alice’s demureness started to grate after a while. The other little beef I had was that there was a lot of set up and then the thick of the plot felt rushed at the end. I could have used more epilogue, too.

There doesn’t feel like there’s room for a sequel here, but that’s ok. I’ll pick up whatever Phillips publishes next and make sure I have a nice little cocktail to drink while I read it.

Confession: 13 Books I Should Have Written Full Reviews For...but Didn't

I have been remiss. I've been reading and not reviewing. Not because what I've been reading sucks (please see sidebar) but because I am so scatterbrained I've let myself fall behind.

So, to wrap up - the 13 books that have been on a sticky on my desk for me to review for MONTHS. Seriously. Since the spring.

I've decided mini-reviews are the way to go. Just to give you a taste. All of these are recommended. Trust me.

In alphabetical order:

 Eoin Colfer (who's first name is pronounce "Owen") has taken it upon himself to fill the Very Large Shoes of Douglas Adams and write another installment to the Hitchhiker's Saga. We return to meet all of our good friends as Earth is -yet again - being exploded. Everyone has gone on to lead their own lives and are very surprised to find themselves back together again. Antic ensue. Colfer has captured Adams' voice nicely and the book didn't disappoint me. Of course, I also think that Mos Def and Zooey Deschanel make the best Ford Prefect and Trillian to date, so that tells you my opinion of the state of things. Enjoy!

Ah...Jenny McCarthy. You either love to hate her or hate to love her...or count her among your guilty pleasures. This little memoir (essays, mostly) about her journey through pregnancy is full of pre-vaccine angst and is quite amusing. I haven't felt as cute as she looks, though, and I think I hold that against her. If you find yourself in the family way, this is a fun read (you can do it in an afternoon). If not, then I wouldn't bother. It just won't resonate unless you, too, experience what she's talking about.

The Gears (yes, they're married) are experts in their subject: paleo-indians living right around the end of the last ice age in what is now Canada. It's Young Adult, but don't let that sway you. It's full of archeological tidbits woven into a compelling plot about a civilization on the brink of destruction. There's even some nice tribal warring to spice things up. I'm eagerly awaiting the next installment.

This one should be titled: "A History of Tectonics and the Settling of the West...and a Few Chapters About The Great California Earthquake of April 1906." Dense, rife with information that you missed in High School Earth Science/Geology, this took me a loooooong time to read. But I did read it - cover to cover. And I now feel like I know a little bit more about the ground upon which I live. Even better that currently that ground houses the San Andreas Fault and I have a better understanding of earthquakes. I also have added a few places to my "must travel" list - places where the earth is so new it hasn't even hardened yet. If you're at all nerdy, this is a book you should at least take a stab at.  Good stuff.

Like all of Green's recent novels, this one is about people who are putting their lives back together the best way they know how. There are also nice sub-plots: romance, intrigue, general life-happenings... She gives back story on every  recurring character and that helps make them all the more real. It's a good beach/pool/bedrest book. More interesting than your basic fluff, but not so taxing that you miss what's going on if your poolside beverage is a little boozy.

Read. This. Series. Start with One For The Money and keep going. You've got LOTS to catch up on. With the exception of number 7 (which was great, but certainly not the best) there are guaranteed laugh out loud moments. Murder, mayhem, an ex-ho, an ex-special ops guy who is now a bounty hunter, a cop who makes everyone drool (in a good way) and generally pathetic criminals...what's not to like? Oh, and did I mention the crazy grandmother whose favorite passtime is going to funerals? It's a recipe for delightful. Trust me.

This one addresses my love of what realtors refer to as "The Handyman Special." The title refers to a family house that has been allowed to fall into disrepair...it also refers to the woman who's going to fix it. She's just been the unwitting pawn in a gigantic financial scandal and she flees home with her tail between her legs. She's got romance trouble, family trouble, financial trouble, and a giant decripit house- complete with a cantankerous old sqautter - buried deep in the South where people want to know who your "people" (relatives) are before they want to know anything else about you. I read this one by the pool in Vegas (ok, in the bath, but by the pool sounds much better) and then I was sad that I read it too quickly. Andrews delivers exactly what you're looking for: a feel good book with just the right amount of suspense, intrigue, and home-repair/antiquing tips.

Ah...the Mommy Memoir. I picked this one up based on a recommendation from my Aunt and the title. Because it's true. As with Belly Laughs, though, if you're not a mom/parent I'm not sure it would resonate with you. If you are, however, it's a fun little afternoon on the couch book. Interesting tidbit: Kogan's son plays young(est) Spock in the new Star Trek. He's very good for the five and a half minutes he's onscreen. Well, done! Also - I love that she whips around town with her kids on her Vespa. She's lived all over the world and she's not afraid of a little traffic. It's inspiring.

When I was seven or so, I was home sick from school one day and my mom brought me this book. Twenty (or so) years later, I still pull it out to read whenever I'm not feeling well. Morning sickness that lasts for months on end counts. It's a fairy tale - but this princess is not one dreamed up by Disney. She's quite plain looking and she has a distinct awkward phase, but she's full of moxie and isn't afraid to stand up to her parents when they decide that a dragon being allowed to lay waste to the countryside is the only way to marry her off. Finally, a princess I could relate to! Obviously this book is awesome because I have it memorized and still read it from time to time. You will, too. Especially if there's a seven year old girl who secretly wants to be a rebellious princess living inside you.

Why this book has been banned I will NEVER understand. It's got math, grammar, moral lessons...AND a talking dog with a clock in his side. I will be reading this one to my kids when the time comes. Assuming they don't mistake it for homework and grow bored with it on principle, that is.

Yes, they keep writing more of these. It's still Christmas, they're still in St bath's, and someone is still trying to off our Heroine. I'll admit that I was shocked at who the culprit was, but I'm not giving it away. The books are significantly better than the lame web-series they put together. Save your five-minutes-at-a-time streaming attention span and READ these instead. You'll be much, much happier. These are for the Seventeen year old girl who secretly wants to be a rebellious princess living inside you.

The last in the Ivy League/Secret Society Girl series. And still very good. Start with Secret Society Girl and work your way through.  They're based at a very poorly disguised Yale (Eli University) and follow the senior year of the first group of girls admitted to the exclusive Rose and Grave Secret Society. Antics, near-death experiences, love-affairs...the stuff good summer reading is made of.

This is not the first in the series. I read it anyway - having read not one word of Alexander's work before. I was not disappointed. A murder mystery set in the late 1800s, told from the perspective of a female amateur detective (in this book she is on her honeymoon, having recently married a professional detective.) They are, of course, wealthy and connected. They are, of course, eventually wanted dead - but that doesn't happen until after they try to solve a murder that has taken place in the Sultan's palace. Yup. There's a Sultan involved. I may have to start at the beginning with these and see where they lead me.

So there you have it. Thirteen VERY late reviews.

Happy Reading!

The Devil's Kiss by Sarwat Chadda

I read this one months ago and it still stays with me. One could almost say that it’s haunting. Not that it gave me nightmares, but for those prone to it -- I can see nightmares occurring.  I read it in an afternoon because I couldn’t put it down. It’s purported to be for ages 13 and up, but a movie based on the book would either be very watered down or rated R for the violence.

Billi (aged fifteen) is the only daughter of one of the few remaining members of the Knight’s Templar. If you’re unfamiliar with this groups of Catholic Knights (some say they are sacred protectors of the people, others call them vigilantes) I suggest doing a little independent research. If nothing else, it’s a fascinating group of men who have spent history getting the short end of a very dangerous stick. Billi is being inducted as the book opens; there is no question that the existing members aren’t fond of the idea of a girl joining their ranks. In the grand scheme of things, though, this is a minor obstacle for her.

I picked up a lot of Joss Whedon undertones while reading this - if Whedon were a hard-core Catholic with an extensive knowledge of lore and mythology: a barely pubescent girl with a destiny forced to give up her own life pursuits (boys, normal school life, a decent night’s sleep) in order to fight vampires, werewolves, demons, and fallen angels. She is well-schooled in martial arts (although they admit it’s less formal and more street-fighting,) church history, and a fair amount of what would be considered witchcraft were it not sanctioned by the Church.

The Knight’s are, of course, a very deeply kept secret. Tour guides take groups through London and stop in front of the church where the Templar’s “used” to meet before they were “disbanded” - this fact coupled with impending doom add an urgency to the tale as it spins out: save the world, but no one can know you did it. Billi finds help in unlikely places, while being surrounded with the sacrifices that matter but which are rarely required of anyone in the modern age...and this is a modern book. It might deal with lore that is thousands of years old, but Billi lives in modern London where the souls of man are in as dire a need as they were centuries ago.

A coming of age tale meant for those who can take the idea that the things going bump in the night might actually exist...and that the organizations we do or do not look to for protection are also the same ones who are being manipulated to harm us, I feel it should be a must-read. Regardless of your age or religious affiliation this is a book that will make you rethink what you’ve long assumed...and even if you’re not left wondering what else the Church is hiding, you’ve certainly enjoyed the story.

Sucks to be Me by Kimberly Pauley

The subtitle reads: The ALL-TRUE confessions of Mina Hamilton, Teen Vampire ^maybe. And you think “not another teen vampire novel! Argh!” But then you pick it up and flip it over to read the back because you just can’t help yourself.  What you’re awarded with is a top five list of the reasons Mina thinks it sucks to be her. Starting with “bloodsucking vampire freaks” and ending with “please don’t read this book. It’s just embarrassing.” And then you think “Sure. This could be good beach reading.”

Then you’d read it and be glad you did. The American Library Association has awarded this tasty little morsel it’s “Reluctant Reader Selection” approval. I whole-heartedly agree. Pauley allowed her main character to tell her story with an honest voice. Seventeen-year-old slang doesn’t always age well, but it sure is fun to read. I had a few spit-takes during Mina’s confession and even recognized some of her angst because it’s universal: prom, friends, secrets, trying to talk to cute boys.

Mina’s parents are “accidental vampires” who’ve been raising Mina in as normal a household as possible. Until the council finds out that she exists...and that she knows about her parents. They (the way all councils seems to) decide that this isn’t acceptable and Mina either has to turn herself or suffer consequences. In this case, the consequence isn’t death, but to a seventeen year old girl it’s just as bad: never see or talk to her parents again. So she embarks on her quest for knowledge. This includes vampire classes (the council wants everyone to know what they’re getting into so they can make an informed decision) with a group of kids she’d normally not socialize with and an overly helpful (and very weird) Uncle as a mentor. The ending is a bit of a forgone conclusion, but getting there is a lot of fun.

It’s a debut novel, and we all know how I feel about stumbling onto a debut novel before more have been written. Sweet, sweet agony. Luckily, there’s a sequel in the works. I’ll be reading it.

Coraline, by Neil Gaiman...vs. Coraline screenplay and direction by Henry Selick

Ok - first, a common misconception - Tim Burton had nothing to do with this movie...except probably he was at the premier and watched it because the team who did do this movie worked with him on The Nightmare Before Christmas.

I'm just going to post up the trailer instead of writing an overview because it'll pretty much cover that.



Now, a little book vs. movie.

The book is excellent. It's short and readable in a few hours for most adults. Children could take a few days depending on their willingness to put it down and do important other things like going to sleep. It's not illustrated, but Coraline's blue hair is described in great detail, as is her love of colorful fun clothes and her obvious boredom in their new flat. The book skips a lot of development for the secondary characters and dives straight into the main plot of the book: looking for excitement and attention from the distracted adults around her, Coraline goes looking for adventured and finds herself wooed by the Other Mother and Father. She quickly finds herself sucked in, and then trapped, and then in a game with the Other Mother to win back her life and the spirits of three lost children she meets in the Other House. It's suspenseful and creepy and a page turner. A must-read.

The movie is better. It is film-adaptation at its best. Selick took an already amazing piece of fiction and fleshed it out. It was already a stage musical, so I really can't be sure how much of the difference is attributed to Selick and how much to the stage scriptwriters -- but I do know that the movie is the darkest version of the three (book, stage, film) and that can be directly attributed to Selick.

The secondary characters have larger parts to play - presumably so that the audience is aware of just how different the Real World is from the Other World. Wybie is completely created for a viewing audience (not sure if he's in the play) - neither he nor his grandmother appear in the book. Sometimes, the addition of a random new character feels random. In this case, however, he's someone Coraline's own age that she can relate to, and he gives back story that is missing from the book. When he shows up in the Other World...well that just adds to the scariness and suspense. The voice of the cat (Keith David) is perfect. Indescribably so. Actually, all of the casting is spot-on.

Two notes about the film that are not plot/character related, but which add to the overall atmosphere:

First, the music. In addition to a catchy little song by They Might Be Giants (who originally wrote songs for the entire movie, but when the tone turned away from the Musical and became darker and (I presume) truer to the book they only used one) Selick retained the talents of a Hungarian children’s choir to sing the background music. It’s chilling and haunting and perfection.

Second: the film is also entirely stop-motion. They made use of puppets and sets and filmed the entire thing in 3D. If you have the opportunity, that is the way to see it. (I’ve seen both 3D and flat.) The use of models and puppets over straight CGI adds a dimension of “reality” that -yes- adds to the creepiness.

Pick a drizzly, cold day to read the book. And then wait for a drizzly cold night and watch the movie. I guarantee chills.

Bonus:

HERE
(click enter site and it'll take you there)

Repair to Her Grave, by Sarah Graves

If you remove the relative abundance of death from this installment of the Home Repair is Homicide series...what you are left with is very nearly a Cozy Mystery. Nearly. It all starts out simply enough: it’s summer in Eastport, which means it’s time for some projects around the house. Add in a wall that won’t stay plastered, a son spending his last summer before college getting SCUBA certified and diving for treasure, an ex-husband who is still painfully aware that the only reason he’s not still incarcerated is because of his ex-wife, a best friend/next door neighbor who will happily help with anything you need, an upcoming meeting of the Eastport Ladies Society (in Jake’s home, no less), and an unexpected houseguest...and you’ve got the start for a very interesting few months.

But you can’t forget the ghost. The one that has vaguely haunted the house since Jacobia moved in. The one whose every action can be explained by a draft or something equally innocuous. The ghost who is supposed to be the original owner of the house - a famous violinist who disappeared over a hundred years ago, leaving behind a handful of compositions and a minor mystery: a stradivarius... The ghost who is the reason for this new houseguest (who shows up humming one of the tunes that Sam unearthed in that last book.)

So of course people are falling off cliffs. Falling? Or being pushed? And because of the water, their bodies aren’t being found. There is lots of local turmoil as tourist season kicks into high gear (Lobster Festival, anyone?) amidst these unfortunate accidents. People are coming and going and it’s hard to keep track of just who might be sinister and who is merely odd...until, of course, it isn’t anymore.

Graves has a gift, people. I keep eeking these out so I don’t run out of new installments. They are multi-layered and filled with real-life drama - in addition, of course, to the amateur sleuthing that’s always going on. Graves acknowledges situations that other (lesser) writers take for granted: of course the small town would talk about how Jake and Ellie are almost better at solving murders than the police are. Of course life doesn’t stop just because some stranger wandered into town and fell (or was thrown) off a cliff. Those old ladies are still going to show up at your house exactly at the time on the invitation and they’ll want their tea hot and their sandwiches crustless, thank you very much.

This is the sort of thing, after all, that keeps us coming back for more.

The Exchange by Graham Joyce

The Exchange is Joyce’s second Young Adult novel, and as much as I liked his first, this one is better. All of his novels, for both adults and young adults, fall into what is commonly considered “fantasy.” Don’t let that scare you off, though. There are no vampires, no elves, and very rarely is there even any outright magic. Instead he leads you into the realm of possibility where you can argue that the main characters are just hallucinating and that there’s a scientific explanation for whatever has happened to them. It’s much more fun to just accept it as supernatural and enjoy the story.

This story, The Exchange, focuses on Caz, a fourteen year old girl (Caz is short for Caroline) who spends her life getting up to mischief with her best friend Lucy while her mother sleeps away in a pill-induced haze. Even at the beginning you get the feeling that Caz is restless and not certain that this is the way her life should be going. She meets Lucy late at night to break into people’s homes and do what they call “The Creepy” which is never fully explained but which amounts to hovering at the nose of a sleeping person for fifteen seconds before bolting from the house and laughing maniacally. It’s all becoming routine until one night when the old lady wakes up and curses Caz with a silver bracelet that locks on Caz’s wrist and won’t come off.

It slips off in the night, but it leaves its mark - both on her wrist as a tattoo and in her psyche as hallucinations. She is terrified, a feeling only exacerbated when she is dragged to the “Crazy Jump Around” evangelical church of her mother’s boyfriend. Here, the “Elder” places his finger on her forehead and pronounces that she is possessed by demons. Caz faints dead away and when she wakes her life takes a noticeable turn. Her relationships falter, her sleep is disrupted which makes her appearance decline, and she starts to question what will become of her life -- will she become like the sad old lady who cursed her? An old lady with rotten luck and no friends? Or will she pass it off on someone before too much damage is done and then go on to lead a normal life?

In what can only be described as a coming-of-age story, Joyce has given us a young woman with too much on her fourteen year old plate: a single, chronically depressed mother who has a new and potentially humiliating boyfriend, a best friend who is being abused by her parents, a boyfriend who isn’t sure if he wants to be involved in all that Caz has going on, and a job that forces Caz to toughen up so that she can survive each evening. By the time it comes to its satisfying conclusion you’re rooting for Caz and for every life she touches, and you’re grateful for another amazing Graham Joyce novel.

Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side, by Beth Fantaskey

Jessica is adopted, a fact which her hippie parents have never kept from her. She was born in Romania but adopted as an infant and raised in America on a farm. She’s pretty typical: mathlete, equestrian, mildly popular...and then one morning a tall, dark, handsome and vaguely creepy exchange student lurks in the mist by her bus stop and derails all of her precisely laid out senior year plans. He shows up in her classes and seems only to have eyes for her. A creepy boyfriend was definitely not on her agenda, and she frequently wills his attention to stray to any of the myriad girls who swoon over him, only to find out that he is destined to be in her life.

She immediately enters the first of the five stages of grief: denial.

Lucius is apparently staying on their farm. He is their exchange student and it is soon made clear that he has designs on Jessica. It’s immediately obvious that he is different but while her parents say “Vampire” she says “freaky cult” right up until the moment she needs to give in or Fantaskey knows her readers will stray.

In a refreshing spin on the teenage vampire love story, it is revealed that our heroine is not just adopted from a Romanian family, but adopted from a Royal Romanian Vampire family and is betrothed to Lucius she moves directly into stage two: Anger.

There are fights, rages, blow-ups. Everything needed to make this teen drama a..well...a drama. Every emotion Jessica externalizes (or internalizes in some cases) is believable, from her body image to her understandable resistance to a life that has already been chosen for her. After the dust settles she moves into stage three, bargaining, which is muddled by her wafting in and out of stage four: depression.

She lets Lucius into her life, but only on her terms and not always without a fight. Their relationship is believable in a way that someone who still remembers being seventeen can create. Fantaskey gives us jealous friends and would-be boyfriends constantly coming between Jessica and Lucius. Their friendship blossoms and then get trampled - on both sides.

Lucius’ thoughts on the unfolding events are revealed to the reader throughout the book in letters to his uncle, the vicious vampire who sent him to retrieve his promised bride. His expounds on the food, culture of high school, and of course his pursuit of Jessica… all with the stiff air of someone writing out of obligation and not of love and the desire to share. Even this is refreshing...a vampire with a tender heart of gold is something we’re starting to expect.

And then Jessica turns 18. This is it: the culmination. She now decides her future. After all of the drama and growth can she accept who she is? Will she walk away from her destiny? And what does it mean for Lucius, for herself, when his true nature is revealed to their entire school? Only after she tackles a court of abusive vampires and travels around the globe will we find out.

The Twilight Series, By Stephenie Meyer

"While sales at most stores plummeted last month, the teenage retailer Hot Topic enjoyed a 6.5 percent gain, thanks mostly to brisk sales of gear inspired by Twilight, the teenage vampire movie." [NYT]

So there’s that. And then there’s this:

“Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people …. The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good.” -Stephen King [USAT]

I have to say that I agree - though not as vehemently - with Stephen King on this one. I just finished Breaking Dawn, the 4th in the series, and I’m not chomping at the bit for her elusive 5th book to come out.

That’s not because the fourth was so awful that I never want to read Meyer again. It’s because Breaking Dawn seemed to wrap up the story. Anything after this runs the risk of feeling like a gimmick to make more money. Like unplanned movie sequels and remixes of best-selling singles. Some things should be allowed to come to their natural end and then everyone should move on.

I started Twilight purely due to peer pressure and the fact that I like Kristen Stewart and have a strict Read The Book First Whenever Possible policy. I closed Twilight with a resounding “MEH” and made my way to the movie theater -- where I ranted about misused budgets and lost potential.

I picked up New Moon based on many many assurances (from friends and strangers) that the SECOND book is where it gets really good. And they were mostly right. It got “good.” Where Meyer’s literary prose falls short, she makes up with an intriguing plot and characters with whom you become truly invested. The second book fleshes out myths and histories and sets the stage for the third and fourth installments.

Book Three, Eclipse, gives us the “where they came from” stories that we did not get in the first two. This technique for catching up those who might be coming to the story in the middle is refreshing. That necessity, the “I’m Bella Swan and I’m in love with a Vampire,” is one of the few ways that Meyer shows her potential. There is also much more action in Eclipse...although I have to admit that by reading them marathon-style I’ve gotten foggy on where books pick up and leave off.

Breaking Dawn leads us down the path to the inevitable. I was warned (by thirteen year old girls, no less) that this book has parts in it that are “very inappropriate.” By this they mean sex. And lots of it. It is worth noting, however, that Meyer is MORMON. And since this is one aspect of herself that she has made clear from the beginning, it’s more a case of Sex Which Is Alluded To. Harlequin will not be knocking on her door any time soon. In fact, you get more racy sex - both in description and friendly teasing conversation - in most teen dramas.

Meyer has an emotional pull with her characters - her use of first person for Bella (and for Jacob in a section of Breaking Dawn) allows us to skip over the broken sentences and the stilted dialogue to focus on the action, of which there is plenty.

If you are looking for Young Adult fiction that is going to enlighten you, educate you, and make you wish you were a better writer...I can think of a dozen authors off the top of my head who will deliver better than Meyer. If you are looking for a fun, safely suspenseful, emotionally involving series of what I like to call Brain Candy - pick these up. They are certainly worth reading, even if my opinion leaves them somewhere short of great literature.

The Widows of Eastwick by John Updike

As promised, a review. Note: I'm only halfway through, but since I'm leaving on a jet plane early Friday morning and I live in fear of SPOILERS, I felt I could give you 500 words on just the first half. If, at the end of the book I determine that I went astray somewhere then I will update it. But trust me on this so far.


It is 30 years later and the witches have spread across the continent. Alexandra, from whose viewpoint we see most of the story, is the first to be widowed. Unsure of what else to do, it seems, she take a reactionary, melancholy, tour of the Canadian Rockies. Months - a full year? - after her return she hears from Jane, who is newly widowed and living in the family home in New England with her aging mother-in-law. They take a reactionary, slightly less melancholy tour of Egypt. A few more months go by (as well as a full third of the book) when a newly widowed Sukie finally makes her appearance.

(Full disclosure, Sukie was always the one I identified with. Probably it was that she was a writer and I could understand that.)

The trio of them, distinctly less melancholy but still only sporadically happy, build on their previous tours and head to China.

These three trips seem to be only slightly about the girls, and read much more like travel articles. Luckily they are all three places I’d like to see, and Updike describes even the air in such an enticing way that I didn’t mind the diversion. It was very subtly that you pick up how the witches are now, as opposed to how they were thirty years ago when we last saw them - promiscuous and impetuously creating their new husbands after all the trouble the other men in their life seemed to bring with them - so that when they do start to move forward it’s as though you’ve known them all along and the thirty year absence falls away.

It is the following summer, not immediately as the blurb on the back of the book suggests, that they make their hesitant way back to Eastwick, to stay in a condo that has been fashioned out of the mansion where so many of their mischievous moments took place.

While they have moved away and the world has grown and changed around them, Eastwick has not forgotten them. They encounter old lovers and old enemies and Updike’s wistful descriptions of their reactions and memories leaves the reader to wonder if he isn’t revisting his own past - knowing what lies ahead for him. They are themselves too wistful, too full of guilt at the crimes of their youths that the trip back proves harder for them than anticipated. Even Alexandra, who resists the trip right up until there’s no backing out.

Though everyone is, on the surface, unperturbed by the return of the trio, they all seem to have designs, if you will, on what their own destiny with the witches will be. A few old lovers want to rekindle flames. Those who feel themselves scorned want reparations, children want to heal old wounds...our witches may be forced to tap into their “cone of power” again...and for more than just their own amusement.

update: It just gets better. Trust.

Plum Spooky by Janet Evanovitch

This one will make soda come out of your nose.

Janet Evanovitch delivers again. More than 15 books into the series and her formula works as well as Law and Order...except perhaps more accurately: Law and Disorder. I was thrilled to see it on the shelf a mere four days before a dreadfully long plane ride and had to exert a massive amount of willpower to wait those four days to read it. It was worth it.

Given that Plum Spooky is a Between-The-Numbers Novel, Diesel makes his fourth unannounced appearance in our heroine’s apartment. Stephanie Plum, our whirling-dervish of a Bounty Hunter, quickly learns that her assignment and his overlap...in the form of his Dracula-like cousin, Wulf Grimoire, who has partnered up with her skip, Martin Munch. Together they are going to first take over the Jersey Swamp and then take over the world. As I read I couldn’t help but have visions of Pinky and the Brain made human.

The usual suspects come along for the ride, and we’re always glad they do. Lula, the rotund ex ‘ho, has left her diets behind in this book but catches a cold she blames on Tank, her fiance. If you’ve read any of the previous novels you can imagine that Lula sick is, in itself, an amusing concept. If you haven’t read any of the previous novels...stop reading this and start with One For The Money. Trust me. Morelli’s cousin is kicked out of his own house and takes up residence on Morelli’s couch - with would throw a wrench into Stephanie’s relationship with Morelli if Diesel hadn’t already. Ranger is, as always, enticingly on the periphery, bugging Stephanie’s cars and trying not to laugh at her...and there is much to laugh at because along with Diesel there is also a Monkey.

That’s right. One of her previous skips has gotten married and taken her honeymoon, leaving her pet monkey, Carl, for Stephanie to babysit. In addition to the humor Evanovitch always delivers, Carl proves to be a useful addition to the Plum Task Force.

I didn’t find myself spooked, as the title promised, but at one point I was laughing so hard I almost dropped my book...and I’ll take that any day.